International Business Worker Pillows

The trouble with working for a multi-national company

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

My brilliant career

"It lost a little something in translation."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"Tariffs"

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Cloud Computing.

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

Daimler, ChryslerSturm and Drang meeting

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''

Ever Given

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

That's the chairman's office.

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"Yeah but when will she be home?"

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

"Our sales have come a long way in a short time."

"I worked my way up from a goddamn steamboat - I am the American Dream."

Euro around the world.

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'