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Financial Troubles

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'Of course we have to learn decimals. How else will we be able to compare bank interest rates.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Making borrowing easier

Food prices.

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

"Don't forget — it's good to give, but even better to get back."

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

Bank of England Base Rates.

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

'Here's a hundred bucks -- now, you give me $101.37.'

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

Devil-may-care loans.

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'I'd think that after a $800 billion bailout, you could do better than 1.2% for 11 months.'

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

"Your money was working for you, but it suddenly quit and now it's working for me!"

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

Thank you for being so kind and approving my loan application. How can I ever repay you?'

"Great news! The Fed possibly confirmed that a possible rate hike is possibly possible!"

"Well Wendy, results were mixed this week - interest rates edged up, while hte lowest common denominator was down. Again."

'Usury' is not a pretty word, Mr. Williams.