Intelligence Agency Buff Mugs

'And afterwards we'd appreciate if you'd spare a moment to rate our torturing."

High security Santa's grotto

'What's wrong now?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Useless information"

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"From this you make a living?"

The Best Defense

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

Milkin' Impossible

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

Aggression/Security

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

Government Intelligence

Max Weber

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret