Intellectual Matchmaker Prints

'I don't know what he sees in her - she can't even freeze an embryo.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Today's love

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

cuPad

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Cupid

Acme Dating Service

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"