Intellectual Growth T-Shirts

"Honesty is a fine quality, Max, but it isn't the whole story."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Others will fight for you

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Apples for sale

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Reach for the Star.

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Try thinking about something else."

'Congratulations on breaking through the glass ceiling of the company downstairs. However, I will be sending you a repair bill.'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

That party went well.

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Paul Ree

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"You left your demons here last week."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Screen Time vs Book Time

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."