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'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

Text Culture

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

The Web is mightier than the sword.

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

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'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

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