Inspector Mugs

"Any clues?"

'Well he certainly does a very thorough risk analysis.'

Quality Control

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

Quality Control

'I'm more unpopular now than I was at school.'

'I haven't found anything wrong yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'Customs have busted Happy and Dopey, act like you're not with them.'

'Come on - I haven't got all day!'

'I don't care if you built it yourself. This place is a fire trap.'

"Sarge, the computer won't let me retrieve the criminal files."

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

'Use Anything In This Kitchen At Your Own Risk.'

"Do your plumb lines meet the British standard?" "The Damsons or the Victoria?"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

Crime suspect removes shoes to avoid detective.

'You look like you could work.'

School board inquisitor asking a man if his children attend school

'Another day, another 100 building code violations cited.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'I'll see you one fire exit, and raise you another sprinkler system.'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

"Can I keep the hairpiece on?"

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

Oh, no! Another case of the hives!

'Yes, I know you've been calling here for years trying to get a hold of Mr. Shelton, but he isn't in right now. . . he hasn't returned from his first-ever appraisal!'

'Ofwork'

'I'm sorry Mrs Green, but your sons disappearance is just a mystery.'

'The wool is virgin - it's none of your damn business about the sheep!'

Windmill Maintenance

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'. . ."

A dumb of detectives

"He used to be such a happy, carefree child. Then his invisible playmates became Health & Safety officers."