Inside Joke Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Why don't you go out and get some fresh air? You've been stuck in the house all day.'

Jimmy's 'Bar' (If you know what we mean)

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Emergency Phone.

Clown's Comedy Fart.

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"Eat me"

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."