Indoor Urbanist Pillows

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

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"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

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"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

James decided to stay in that night.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

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"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

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"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"That's still too high"

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

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"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"Look, someone tattooed that building!"

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

'I don't like the painting either, but it is part of our corporate culture.'

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.