In-flight Etiquette Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You don't have to be nasty, just be firm. Say, 'Stop kicking my seat moron.'"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

"Rats."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

Let's shake on it.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Is your dog friendly?!"

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"What a slobster."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

Preschools for Dogs

"Not at the table."

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

Corona: Take Precautions!

"You ain't gitting on this train until I git off first."

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

"Can I help you?"

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

'Here we are. . . rule 64. . . anti social figureheads.'

How Dogs Identify Themselves in Upscale Neighborhoods.

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

Must you smack your lips?

A guest departing a party.

"Movies...snacks....what took us so long?"

Trolling on social media

"How would you like me to answer that question? As a member of my ethnic group, educational class, income group, or religious category?"