Impulse Buying Guru Gifts

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"I went by the pet store this morning, just for a peek."

I need a raise. This is no time to joke. I've been on a buying binge at the iPhone app store and I can't pay my credit card. These apps are worth it. They're life-changing, they're

"Let's just get through this first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"I wish you wouldn't buy things from people who come to the door."

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

"I shop to forget what I bought last year."

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"Never mind what's in the box. That'll be discussed at the end of the month."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"You really shouldn't shop when you're hungry."

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

'Look at the adorable garden gnome I bought today!!'

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"So, did you pick up anything at the farmers' market?"

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card

"I'll have all that, and this."

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'