Improvised Chef T-Shirts

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

Chez Nous Menu

Barbeque Casualty.

Lockdown casserole

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"On. More. Try."

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

"You're doing it wrong."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

"Rain or shine, me and you can do fondue!" "I'm ready for some yum!"

Eating raw cake mix.

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

"Pulled chicken? You don't want to know."

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

'Mix 1lb of greed with 2oz of corruption, fold in a sprinkle of ignorance then put on the shelf...'

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

'Now I can see why our son's roommates won't let him cook.'

'The bizarre etiquette of entertaining: the smaller the group the worse the food.'

The Desert Island Christmas

"It works!"

"Another Bermudez family specialty is born!"

Lockdown sandwiches

'I really should consult a dietician. My idea of preparing healthy food is to blow the sugar off a donut.'

"The cook book was fantastic, now do you have a good dieting book?"

"It calls for oregano, but we’ll be using rum."