Impossible Task Enthusiast T-Shirts

"And make it quick. I need those numbers yesterday – before last night's lottery draw."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"OK team, we need innovative solutions and we need 'em fast!"

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

Bucket List

'He needs professional HELP!'

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Business Confusion

Umbrella Roof

A good leader has effective conflict resolution strategies in place.

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"You need to learn to solve your own problems."

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

It wasn't easy, but we finally plugged the hole.

'Unfortunately we're approaching the expiration dates on most of our quick-fix solutions.'

"And how many stacks were there yesterday? Quit checking your notes"

"You need to take it easier henderson. You're working yourself into the ground"

'Well, it didn't work, so now we'll try it your way.'

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

'You may not realise it, dear. But, Daddy is helping you, by not helping you with your homework.'

One Man Band

'What training do I get?'

Submarine

"We're not a seafood restaurant -- this building has a pretty severe lobster infestation."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

'I put your project on Wilson's desk. He has a knack for looking at tough jobs in a new angle.'

"He's happily married, but his wife isn't..."