Imports Gifts

"Well, I always find the cheapest French, Greek and Italian wines for binge drinking."

"First it was all of that imported stuff and now he's gone with all robotic toy makers!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Robot Parts $5

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Bond James, Bond."

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Benedict Cumberbatch

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."