Illustrated Storyteller T-Shirts

'We have to build an ark - It's part of His restructuring plan.'

"I been to CVS, Whole Foods, Duane Reade, Stop & Shop, Safeway, Walgreens, Publix, Star Market, WinCo, Wegman's, Trader Joe's, Post Office..."

Shepherd and eurydice

Occu-Pie Mars

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

The Art Student.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Edgar Allen Poe

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Swan Fairy Tales

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Bacchus.

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.