Ice Rink Analyst T-Shirts

'How long have you felt this need to protect the net'

Ice skater

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

Ice Skater

The Hockey World

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

Zenboni

'His wife is very supportive.'

"I've never been into the other team's end... what's it like?"

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

Ice skating

"What?!! I'm reducing friction on the ice."

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

Reach you goal! Financial Planners Inc. Quality Dentistry. Get you smile back! Anger Management Classes. Downtown clinic. Slipped on ice? Clark Law can get you cash$.

The Puck Stops Here.

Beckett on ice

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

Caveman Under the Hockey Ice

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

His Other Shtick

'Torville and Cow'.

"Prozzac"

'Zamboni 2': Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the ice.

Hold it! I dropped a contact lens.

The fight ends, the hockey players flee, and the curling team once again rules the ice rink.

Hockey Pairs Skaters.

I'd rather be skating in Kew

Eskimo fishing in ice rink

Ice Skater

'Man, that new guy is nothing but a thug!'

The freezer broke at the hockey rink last night. By the end of the game there was seven feet of water! They must have taken out the first string and put in the subs!

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."