Hypochondria Scholar Mugs

"Poor Rosalinda, she always thinks she's dying."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

Providing Healthcare For All

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

"Apparently reading about cancer can give you cancer!"

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Stay away from Pigs.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

'There's nothing wrong with you that a couple placebos won't cure.'

'He's battling a twinge'

"He's a hypochondriac."

"He was such a hypochondriac, he insisted on being buried next to a health professional."

'Well, we've probed and diagnosed you thoroughly and still have found nothing. Now Dr. Thompson here would like you to lie down in his office for a special 'hypochondria scan.''

The Hypochondria Times.

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

"Trust me, Doc, it's quicker if I tell you what doesn't hurt."

"It's okay, it only thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

"In my expert medical opinion, you are suffering from hypochondria."

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."