Humpty Dumpty Fans Pillows

"All the king's horses and all the king's men feel it's not in the national interest."

"Been injured in an accident? Tripped or fell? You may be entitled to compensation."

'Whoa, whoa, buddy, we don't serve no pickled eggs here.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

"A poodle? It's sort of a dog with an afro."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Your brains are scrambled.'

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Ancient Egyptian Doctors

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

ONE LAST TIME! Where are the carrots!

If Dogs Made Perfume

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

Mummy Mousehole

'You've been approved. As collateral, we'll be holding your nuts.'

'A tough one, I'm afraid.'

Humpty Dumpty, at his peril, visits the great wall of china.

"It helps me unwind of an evening."

"Everything's more fun with Muppets!"

The Ancient Mummy and the Psychiatrist

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

"Looks like it's going to be an interesting new year."

Heat Wave Podium

Saving for Winter.

Pinochio's dad hammering nails in to Pinochio's bottom