Humorist In Healthcare T-Shirts

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

'Here's another popsicle stick for ya, Doc.'

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

Inaccurate Acupuncture

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The first one's just a warning."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Cardiac Recovery.

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

Virtual Doctor

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"I stand corrected."

Happy Birthday to you.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'