Humor In Mistakes Fan Prints

"Phil had no idea what he was talking about."

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

How Many It Takes

The Fuse

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

"Oops, I just ate Diane's birthday card and signed 'Happy 30th, girl!' on a donut."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

'Mary, that better have been a contact lens you just dropped.'

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

Piano tuner with an assistant.

The Fish, Having Refreshed Himself, And Recovered His Spirits, Bolts Again with Mr B.

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

' You misread the ad,I'm looking for a light-weight engine.'

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

"So you turned off the power, huh?"

"Hey—nice place!"

Dog Show: 'Bad news Muffy - you're being disqualified on a technicality.'

'Yup, I think mine are broke too.'

'Hist wife said he was a hard man to get anything out of.'

"You get a great view of the ball park from here."

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

You are here but you should be here

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

"Do you keep stationery here?"

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch