Humor In Mistakes Fan Prints

"Phil had no idea what he was talking about."

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

How Many It Takes

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

The Fuse

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"Oops, I just ate Diane's birthday card and signed 'Happy 30th, girl!' on a donut."

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

Sorry, pal, no - there's no rest stop for the wicked.

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

'Mary, that better have been a contact lens you just dropped.'

The Fish, Having Refreshed Himself, And Recovered His Spirits, Bolts Again with Mr B.

Piano tuner with an assistant.

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

' You misread the ad,I'm looking for a light-weight engine.'

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"So you turned off the power, huh?"

Dog Show: 'Bad news Muffy - you're being disqualified on a technicality.'

"Hey—nice place!"

'Yup, I think mine are broke too.'

You are here but you should be here

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

"You get a great view of the ball park from here."

'Hist wife said he was a hard man to get anything out of.'

"Do you keep stationery here?"

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch