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"What's up -ain't you ever seen a bar cod."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Zombie standup

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Cat box"

Easter Island legs

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Love at First Sight

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

The Fourth Little Pig

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"That's not how I sat on you."

Cut Price

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'