Human Connection Savant Pillows

'I've decided to replace all human interaction with personal electronics.'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

I did it my way.

The new normal

TV-Man

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

All the apps hidden within a phone

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

The Plasmas.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

"God, I love this show!"

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Mind control

"Cool game!"

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

Bones Reunited

"$100? What are you doing ... fracking your own gas?"

"If our proposal's a success, control yourself and don't start running around the room barking."

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

Consumer care and technologies

"My new mobile phone makes me feel so space age!"

"We'll have to operate to remove the phone from her hand!"

"She died doing what she loved."

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

Some apps are really useful.