Hr Jargon Enthusiast Prints

"We've been developing short-range and long-range plans, Wilson. Our short-range plans include deleting you from our long-range plans."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"I'm going to send you to someone who's more familiar with the law of the jungle."

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

GDP and G&T.

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

Terms and conditions on the mount

'He gives his heart and soul to every annual performance review.'

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'You've impressed the interview panel, but our handwriting analyst has determined that you're insane.'

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."