Housing Policy Makers Mugs

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Homeless count.

House hunting is cruel.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"Hmmm, as far as I can gather, unfortunately, it is an eviction notice: we need to find a new home. . ."

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

"There, that's better!"

"Sorry honey, but moving boxes are sold out everywhere because of the rising rents..."

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"

"Just to let you know - we're putting up your rent again..."

"What do you mean, you got evicted?"

Cut and Paste.

"What you have to ask yourself is, do you want to get on the property ladder or not?"

"Star Wars. . . Batman. . . Pirates. . . What we should be building is affordable housing."

Unsocial housing.

'You're a single person on benefits with too many rooms - we're downsizing you!'

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

Low Budget Real Estate

'The mortgage became affordable when we sub-divided.'

"It's 'affordable' if you can afford it."

"This so called bedroom tax has really hit a raw nerve with your Sid hasn't it!!"

'Housing shortage, what housing shortage?'

Unseemly/Unaffordable