Housing Market Critic Prints

Affordable Housing Estate Agents - 'It's affordable if you're rich...'

Estate Agent trying to rip off client by charging three times the rent.

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

Coming soon! An 'exciting' development of generic shoddily-built rabbit hutches at astronomical prices

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

"...when it comes to property, it's location, location, location! That's why we charge three times more for it!"

'That's the Government for you every time.'

"No, it is right. The whole property market's going down the pan."

'We can't remember which house is ours!'

'Here's a nice one, 'The Oaks', but where are the oaks?'

Battery Farm Housing

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

"The job is fine thanks. But I need a second one to enable me to pay my rent ."

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

The little old lady who lived in a vacuum.

"That's the maisonette programme for our corporate trainees."

'I told you the property market was improving.'

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

Housing bubble

"It's a rat hole, I warned you that you would have to share."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Three little pigs-mortgage.

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

Affordable housing

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."