Housework Houdini T-Shirts

'There's nothing wrong with my arm - I wear it to get out of washing the dishes!'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

The Missing Sock Returns

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

When laundry ruled the waves.

Kitchen Tetris

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

A DIY disaster.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Washing Line Walker

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

'But you said to clean my room.'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

Pest Control

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'