Household Chore Strategist T-Shirts

"He's always exploring new ways to communicate,k this is 'Dance against leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor'."

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'My spring cleaning got spring fever.'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

"Well, it will just have to wait."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Laundry day?"

Presents.

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'

The Toilet paper roll...do they magically appear on the holders?

"And if he decides not to empty the dishwasher, can I recommend a half Nelson, forearm smash, followed by a Boston crab."