Hostile Takeover Hero T-Shirts

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Why am I running?

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

"I'm not the ruthless guy everyone says I am, but that's my goal."

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'He works in Acquisitions.'

National corporate ladder of success monument.

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Game Addiction

Dialed the number, ordered the tapes and placed hundreds of little ads. Didn't hit a snag until step four: Just sit back and rake it in.

Star Executive

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

"No man's going to stop me from getting to the top!"

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'