Hostess Gift Pillows

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Wine Lady

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Christmas Presents.

'Chewing cud, Steven? Well, I hope you brought enough for the whole class!'

Santa called but you were out!

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'They were all out of roses.'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

Valentines Day truck

Happy Valentine's.

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

How the gift registry should really work

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".