Hospitability Industry Worker T-Shirts

"We'd invite you to our place in the country but we're having it torched."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Cardiac Recovery.

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Prawn Cocktail Please

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Valet park only"

Office Ergonomics.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

The Suite Hereafter

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Mini Bar

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."