Horror Movie Director Pillows

'The motel was nothing fancy but it was clean and they were too tired and hungry to care....'

'Ooooo...I ate it too fast. Brain freeze.'

"How many times do I have to tell you? NO! I don't like scary movies! Now bugger off!"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Showbiz Awards

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Love at First Sight

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Golfing Boss

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Horror movies

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'He likes to power nap.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'