Hook-avoider T-Shirts

Escaped Fish

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

How to deal with weeds

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

Worm running away from hook.

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

"Someplace with no dogs."

'Nature makes me nervous!'

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

Too posh to wash...

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'He's so proud of his art collection.'

"I couldn't agree more - but, then again, I hate even non-lethal injections."

'My last book did not have a happy ending. I had to pay a fine.'

Velcro sneaks.

'Not only must she love dogs, but she must hate cats.'

'Look on the bright side, we're surrounded by water: We're safe from cats...'

The ocean - vast, deep magnificent...

Use no hooks.

'You have got to be kidding.'

Tortoise hiding from acupuncturist.

'I put a dab of Pine-Sol behind each ear and my husband thinks I've been cleaning all day.'

We're butterflies, Ernie, I don't think we're supposed to have long-term goals.

'If that's the wild, I'm not in.'