Homemade Hero Pillows

"How are we on bread?"

The Authentic Christmas.

'Yes, sir... Thanks to Officer Parker's self-made cake, we got the guy!'

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

Come dine with me!

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"She's been so creative lately."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

You're the puff in my pastry!

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Pajama Day 743

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

I love embroidery

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'Caw blimey!'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

The household cavalry

"Sorry I'm late, boss...I forgot about today's video meeting!"

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound