Homebody Turned Socialite Pillows

'It's been so long since I've been out I hardly know how to act.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I see you've security marked your property."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"The club scene is really changing."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

Working from home to-do list.

"What?"

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

"Going out again> Young lady, you have more bubble than fairy liquid!"

Computer Head

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"The neighbors' place is a pig sty! Why can't we have something like that?"

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

'No Trespissing'

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

Cowboy Slippers

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'

Alma and her Flying Wall-To-Wall Carpet

"Did anyone drop a roll of hundreds? Because I found the rubber band."

'You had to get a home where the buffalo roam!'

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry, you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell!'

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

Have you seen this toaster?

"This love seat stinks!"

'Telephone solicitor.'