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Watching shopping channel - "Why do you always drag me along when you go shopping?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Customer Convention

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'