Home Renovation Expert T-Shirts

"For a preview of how these things usually work out, go and flush a few grand down the toilet."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Painting the Ceiling

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"You're welcome."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Texturing the Walls

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."