Home Remodelers Pillows

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"You're welcome."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

Texturing the Walls

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"