Home Project Mastermind Gifts

The table

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

"Shall I kiss it better?"

Ceiling Paint

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

'You did that on purpose!'

What are they complaining about...the work is challenging,interesting, demanding...AND we let them do it for 80 hours a week.

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

'No wonder the company is in trouble!'

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

'Another DIY enthusiast methinks...'

'Oh yes, Leonard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

'Don't ask for mercy, as a refusal often offends!'

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"If only Donald Trump knew of your wall-building skills!"

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

"My Graham is so creative, you wouldn't believe he makes all our furniture."

Sunflower yellow

"I thought ou were building a man cave. Not a man castle."

"My wife also likes DIY... Every time I want to have sex with her, she says - do it yourself!"

"I do a lot of work on my house, but none of it rises to the level of home improvement."

'It's a cover for the latrine, but yeah, it could be used for transportation...'

Bagshaw & Sons Painters & Decorators - Working towards the door.