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Estate Agent trying to rip off client by charging three times the rent.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

"I've downsized."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."