Home Maintenance Master Mugs

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Yardless: Please help

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Man using to much bug spray

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

The household cavalry

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Timber preservation

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Product Testing Department

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"