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Funky Facts: Christmas

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Elfie Stick

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Santa's Helpers

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"I noticed a few browns."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Christmas on Other Planets.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"I've made a terrible mistake."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

The Reindeer Strike