Holiday Reader Prints

Inbox and outbox for books

'Back home! Now I can get on with my holiday reading.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Filming Christmas

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

Santa, alien, easter bunny and sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'Apparently we were wrong expecting him to return from vacation with renewed enthusiasm and vitality!'

My other novel's a booker winner

Book Igloo

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

"Did you know that someday astronauts may put themselves into deep hibernation to artificially shorten the grueling journey to their ultimate destination? Wake me up on Christmas morning."

'Happy New Year!'

'This is just a holiday tradition - It's nothing personal.'

The Day After a Long Weekend: "Monday?? Wednesday? There's no way to know!!"

'I'm a vestal virgin.'