Holiday Chillers Pillows

Have a very calm Christmas

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

On holiday.

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

'Have a nice weekend, Alfred.'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Tipping Pain Chart

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Peace on Earth

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

The Clueless Diver

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

North Pole.

"Well, I'm sorry, but that's what happens when you micromanage!"

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

Beware of Watchdog

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

"Five million channels! This is heaven indeed!"

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

''Amazing amount of assembly required'.'

About Santa 2017.

"We're letting you go, delivering by drone is cheaper."

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

Christmas tree wishing to hang tree cutter

"Ever notice how everyone's nice this time of year? Kids behave. Neighbors, friends, relatives - even workers at the office - smile more. The mailman has a friendly wave, folks seem to go out of their way to be nice..."

Noel Fever

"Everyone's always calling my sweaters ugly."