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Actualities - Diplomacy cannot rock Mars, god of war, to sleep

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Reagacentennial

A caveman paints from life

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'It's an extinction notice.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Say hello to my little friend."

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Love Conquers All

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"The unlucky lemming"

"She's just being Koi."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Trump leaving

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'