Hiring Process Pillows

"Based on your resume you're not really qualified for the job...but there's just something about you I like!"

"My name? Is this a 'Gotcha' question?"

'Look, I think you're perfect for this job, but your friend there is just slightly overqualified.'

'i had no idea filling the manager position would be so much fun!'

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'