Hiring Adventurer Pillows

'I asked my boss if I could use him as a character reference...'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Profit

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

World Tour.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Draw your own path."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Arf! Arf!'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"What's your occupation?"

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"His father came from a family of climbers."

Can I have a look at the map?

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Hel-l-l-o-o-o-o Summer!"

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"On the bright side, Dear, your jump looked great right up until the landing!"

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

'Sometimes I wish I had never sold my camels!'

Now hiring.

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

Selfie of the Golden Hinde

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

Lost