Hiring A Legal Advisor Mugs

'You said I should seek a lawyer I could like, respect and trust. He was the only one I could afford with those criteria.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"We make crime pay."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

The Devil's in the detail!

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

A baby in court

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'