High School Storyteller Pillows

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'A dog ate my homework.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

"Today I found out a teacher can call on you even if you have location services turned off."

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"He can't come out to play right now...he's working on his autobiography."

'Today's newspaper has my daddy as favourite for Sunday's race...'

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.