High School Storyteller Pillows

Why so blue? Global warming? I'm too shallow for that. I'm worried the glaciers will melt before I get a boyfriend. Look on the bright side

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

Criminal background checks on teachers? How come? To weed out child abusers. Ha! When you taught, you were routinely accused of severe abuse, mother. True. I inflicted the letters "C," "D" and "F" on many of my students. Wow! That's so outlawed.

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

"Today I found out a teacher can call on you even if you have location services turned off."

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

"He can't come out to play right now...he's working on his autobiography."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"I forgot my homework, but there's a video of me doing it on youtube."

"Remember toothache!!!"