High School Counselor Pillows

"Now that my college of choice no longer requires the SAT, I'm relying more than ever on grade inflation."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Licensed Therapist

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

America, are we learning anything?

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"