Hidden Costs Critic Prints

Bag Men

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

'This isn't a flow chart. It's our fee structure!'

Stealth Taxman

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. . . we need to make savings to pay for the locums!"

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

Airline Charges

"I'm not a miracle worker. I can't do the surgery for less than four thousand."

"I got a second opinion on the operation—my accountant advises against it."

"They now charge a fee to collect the fees."

'If the world is getting smaller...How come the postal rates keep going up?'

"Your ticket was $340, but the flight is extra."

"I hope you don't mind the medical student who's here to observe my billing procedure."

'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'

This is not about team building, but about cutting back on labour costs...

'I did everything I could, but I'm still only going to make about $40,000 on this operation.'

'The side effect is, you don't care what it costs.'

Sheila Fraser's To-Do List.

That was the introductory offer, the real price is down there somewhere

"Can you throw this away for me?"

'Car expenses? So what's with the bicycle clips?'

Budget cuts - please send all email as second class.